Part 5
Somehow... I wanted to believe that I had calmed down.
No, I had to convince myself that it was okay. It would be fine.
While waiting for Nagi to get dressed outside, I repeatedly shook my head, trying to dispel all those thoughts. I took deep breaths over and over.
After a while, she came out. Even considering that she had just gotten out of the bath, her face was incredibly red.
"Did... you see?"
"...I tried my best not to look."
I didn’t want to lie. Besides, it would have been strange to not notice while covering her with a towel.
Nagi, with her face still flushed, kept staring at me.
"...I see."
She didn't seem angry, but she looked incredibly embarrassed... Ah, my face was burning too.
However, in that expression, there was something that felt different from just embarrassment—something else mixed in.
★★★
"..."
While soaking in the bath, I splashed my face with water again and again.
The events from earlier were still etched in my mind. Every time I closed my eyes, they would resurface.
"This isn't good. Not good at all..."
If I were asked whether I'd ever looked at Nagi in such a way, I couldn't honestly nod in affirmation.
There had been instances before... when I had been struck by Nagi's more feminine qualities.
However, I had made an effort to avoid looking at her like that. The reason for that was...
"Stuff like that... I’m probably not good with it."
The way Nagi and I met was because I had saved her from a molester.
Since then, Nagi had developed a fear of men. Physical contact was fine, but she probably harbored fear and disgust toward anything sexual.
Even without that, she might experience flashbacks. If we were to do something like that, it would probably be years later... after we'd become adults.
"...Hah."
The hot water felt pleasant now. I sighed and looked up at the ceiling.
★★★
While I was taking a bath, Nagi was in the living room.
"Normally, the bath is a place to relax, but because of the circumstances, I asked for you to stay nearby. As for me, I distract myself by reading a book, so please, take your time in the bath," she had said. Given what had happened earlier, I really appreciated those words.
After changing, I headed to the living room — and then I stopped in my tracks.
Nagi was sitting on the sofa, completely engrossed in a book.
Her blue eyes moved up and down, her fingers, slender and elegant like the finest white fish, turned the pages. Her movements were refined and careful, and I couldn’t help but follow them with my eyes.
At times, she would rest her chin on her hand, as if deep in thought. She wasn’t looking at the book, but rather staring into the empty space in front of her, thinking about something.
Perhaps her thoughts had been sorted out, as her gaze returned to the book.
The sound of a page turning echoed in the room. Her sparkling eyes, like jewels, began to move up and down in a rhythmic, intermittent motion.
—Ah, she’s beautiful.
Those were the only words I could think of.
The expression on her face was different from her usual smile. It was somewhat different from the expression she had worn when we first met.
I suddenly remembered the time during her performance.
Her serious expression, which she showed without any pretense, was so beautiful that I couldn’t help but be captivated by it.
As I continued to gaze at her, the sound of a page turning stopped.
"...Huh? So, you’re already done with the bath, Souta-kun?"
"Ah, yeah. I just got out."
Her deep, ocean-like blue eyes stared at me intently, and her perfectly shaped brows furrowed.
"...Souta-kun. Sit over here, please."
"Huh? Ah, okay."
Nagi slipped a bookmark into her book and placed it on the table. She patted the spot beside her on the sofa.
It was a bit late, but Nagi was wearing a fluffy, sky-blue pajama set. Perhaps the reason I had been so entranced earlier was because of the contrast between her outfit and her appearance.
I sat down beside her, and then her hand reached out to touch my hair. Her beautiful eyes narrowed with a slight frown.
"...I knew it. You didn’t dry your hair properly, Souta-kun."
"Ah."
I realized what she meant. As usual, I hadn’t dried my hair thoroughly enough.
"No, it’s just that my hair is short... I can let it air dry pretty quickly, you know?"
"No matter how much you heat the room, it’s still no good. You’ll catch a cold."
"...You’re right."
I had no response. I really needed to fix these careless habits before they became ingrained... though, they already had.
As I reflected on her words, I heard a small, amused laugh.
"Well, I guess I have no choice. I’ll dry your hair for you!"
"Eh? No, that’s... I’d feel bad asking you to do that..."
"I don’t mind at all. In fact, I’m looking forward to drying your hair, Souta-kun."
With those words, Nagi stood up and took a hairdryer from her bag. She then walked behind me, around the sofa.
"Alright, I’ll dry it now, okay?"
"Ah, thank you."
I gratefully accepted her kind gesture. When Nagi turned on the hairdryer, the strong wind sound filled my ears. It wasn’t overwhelmingly loud, though.
The warm air hit my hair, and her hands gently ruffled it.
"Is it too hot?"
"Ah, no, it’s fine. It feels good."
Her slender fingers parted my hair, and my entire head began to warm up pleasantly.
I couldn’t help but close my eyes, feeling relaxed.
Gradually, the moisture being blown out of my hair lessened, and Nagi’s hands began to smooth over my whole head. After a moment, the sound of the hairdryer switched off.
"I’ll give you a light scalp massage too."
Nagi said, and then she began to gently massage my scalp with firm but careful movements. It felt so good that a sigh escaped me.
"...Hehe. You look like you’re enjoying it, and that’s all I care about."
"Yeah, it feels amazing."
I replied with a smile at her cheerful words, and her fingers pressed down a little harder. With my eyes closed, I felt like I could fall asleep from the comfortable warmth of the moment.
"Alright, we’re done here."
"Thank you. That was really good."
"Hehe, you're welcome."
After she put away the hairdryer, I glanced at the clock. It was already past nine.
Realizing that it was probably about time for Nagi to go to sleep, something else crossed my mind.
...Where should Nagi sleep?
Well, I guess it’s fine. We can figure it out.
"Nagi, you can use my bed to sleep."
As soon as I said that, Nagi’s eyes narrowed, looking at me with a slightly irritated expression.
"...Souta-kun, you’re not going to sleep on the sofa, right?"
"Huh? Oh, right. I could use the cushions as a pillow, so I should be able to sleep just fine."
The sofa isn’t that big, but it should be fine. I don’t have trouble falling asleep, after all.
However—
"No."
Nagi said firmly, with a hint of annoyance in her voice.
"Wait, no. But if I don’t, where will we sleep...?"
"No. I’m sleeping with you."
Nagi was resolute and had no intention of backing down.
...It wouldn’t be good to keep refusing too much here.
A mix of thoughts and feelings swirled in my head, and I closed my eyes.
"...Alright."
No matter how I word it, Nagi would probably never accept it. It was just a matter of whether it happened sooner or later. If it had to happen, sooner was definitely better... and besides, I didn’t actually mind sleeping together.
As soon as I said that, her previously slightly angry expression quickly turned into a bright smile.
"Okay! Then let’s go to bed together!"
I had no intention of doing anything strange. The pounding in my chest was just a normal physiological reaction. Calm down, me.
Placing my hand on my chest, I followed Nagi as she walked towards the bedroom.
Once we entered the bedroom, Nagi smiled at me.
"Souta-kun's room smells so much like Souta-kun."
"...That’s not in a bad way, right?"
"Of course not. It’s comforting, but strangely makes my heart race... it’s the smell I love."
Each of her words made my heart flutter. I couldn’t think of a response, but Nagi seemed to be enjoying herself as she walked over to the bed.
"Well then, I’ll go ahead and lie down."
Nagi plopped down onto the bed and patted the spot next to her with her hand.
"Come on, Souta-kun, hurry up and join me."
"...Alright, I got it."
At this point, I couldn’t tell who the owner of the room was anymore.
I couldn’t help but laugh at the thought as I lay down beside her, who was smiling so brightly.
Since the bed was fairly large, we could both lie down comfortably without any trouble.
When I turned my head toward her, Nagi was right next to me, lying on her side and staring at me.
"Hehe... this is my first time sleeping over somewhere. It’s kind of exciting."
Her small, warm hands gently wrapped around my right hand.
"...Yeah, my heart’s been racing this whole time."
Her hand moved and rested on my chest. Nagi’s palm was warm, and as she pressed it gently, my heart began to beat even louder.
"That’s true. It seems like your heart’s racing just as much as mine."
"You’re feeling that too, Nagi?"
"Do you want to check, Souta-kun?"
"Uh, I’ll pass on that."
"Hehe, I understand."
Her blue eyes sparkled mischievously. I averted my gaze, clearing my throat, and her hand slowly left my chest.
Her hand took mine again, enveloping it, and I felt her warmth surround me.
Looking at Nagi again, her smile grew even more radiant.
"Hehe. I’m so happy, Souta-kun. I’m glad I get to lie here with you."
"...You crawled into bed with me this morning too, didn’t you?"
"That was different. Now, it feels like you’re much closer to me than back then. It's a mental distance, you know?"
Nagi shifted her body slightly and moved a little closer. The sweet scent of flowers filled my nose.
"But I’m still a bit nervous. This is my first time sleeping next to a boy."
"...You don’t have to be that nervous. I’m not planning on doing anything strange."
I said that to help Nagi feel at ease, but then... Nagi stared at me again, her cheeks turning a bright shade of red.
"...Are you really not going to do anything?"
Her voice was small, but I could clearly hear the question.
My body froze, as if it had turned to stone. Her words echoed in my mind, repeating over and over again.
I looked at her, wondering if I had misheard. Her eyes, like jewels condensed from the sea, were staring straight at me.
"You don't have to hold back."
The hand I had been holding was gently released, and her delicate, beautiful fingers stroked my cheek.
"...Aren't you teasing me too much?"
"I'm not teasing you. I'm serious."
As Nagi moved closer to me, the sweet fragrance became even stronger.
Our distance was almost nonexistent now. With the slightest movement, we could touch each other.
Her blue eyes were right in front of me. The hand resting on my chest was moved, and I felt my hand taken.
Then, that hand was guided to her chest—
"Fuu..."
I called out Nagi's name once. Nagi's movements froze, but my hand was dangerously close to a sensitive spot.
"...Nagi."
When I called her name again, Nagi slowly... released my hand.
Her blue eyes were staring at me, a hint of uncertainty in them. I moved and... embraced her.
"Souta-kun?"
Confused, she clung to me tightly, seeking reassurance.
"I love you."
I hoped my feelings reached her.
"I love you, Nagi... I really do."
Nagi's hand slowly moved to my back... and she returned my embrace tightly.
"I love you, so I want to cherish you."
Even so, Nagi's hands trembled slightly, as though she was afraid of something.
"Is that... because I don't have any charm as a woman?"
"That’s not true... I’ve been trying not to say it, but... I do feel your charm as a woman. In fact, I feel it too much... and I’m trying hard not to let my gaze wander."
"...You can look more if you want."
Her softly whispered words gently and seductively brushed my heart. I tried not to pay attention to them and embraced Nagi more tightly.
"Nagi... Are you still feeling guilty?"
I heard her take a sharp breath. So it was true after all.
"Well... I do love you, Souta-kun, and... I really do want to do those things with you."
"...I see. I want to believe that. I think that's true. But..."
As I loosened my embrace, Nagi followed my lead. I shifted my head off her shoulder and—stared into her shining blue eyes, now only inches away.
"I want to be equal with you. If there's even a little bit of guilt still inside you, Nagi... I think it might be better if we hold off on those things for now."
Her blue eyes wavered slightly. Doubt slowly turned into certainty.
"I'm really happy that you said that, Nagi. But, I think we don’t need to rush."
The issue between Nagi and I had just been resolved this morning. Although it was resolved, I knew she wasn’t fully stable yet.
Thinking back, it had been like this all day. When she was making lunch, she said it was an 'apology,' and even after we finished our bath... I hadn't realized, but she had been so devoted.
Whether she was doing it consciously or unconsciously, I couldn’t say. But, from my perspective, this relationship wasn’t equal.
We still had plenty of time ahead of us, after all. Both Nagi and I were still in high school.
The blue eyes that had been looking straight at me flickered and darkened.
"...I’m sorry."
Her voice came out as if the air had been squeezed from her lungs. Guilt seeped through, and she looked deeply distressed.
...Was there another way I could have conveyed this?
For just a moment, that thought passed through my mind, but there was no point in thinking about it now. I had expressed myself in the way I knew how.
"Don’t apologize. This is my selfishness... and also, I wasn’t fully prepared in my heart yet."
I smiled at Nagi and gently placed my hand on her head.
"Let’s take it slow. At our own pace... we will definitely be able to find happiness together from now on."
I gently stroked her hair to keep it from getting messed up, and the light slowly returned to her blue eyes.
"Okay!"
Her voice brightened, and I could feel her relief from the bottom of her heart.
Just as I relaxed, Nagi’s face suddenly came closer. Soft, warm lips pressed against mine.
"But if you can’t hold back anymore, please tell me. I-I’m always... ready, if you are."
Her face flushed bright red as she pressed her forehead against mine and said those words.
Even though she had said it herself, my mind was reeling.
The sweet scent and the warmth of her forehead almost caused my thoughts to melt, but I somehow managed to hold myself together.
"It’s not good to hold back, you know?"
"...I understand."
I felt like I was standing on unstable rubble, a precarious foundation, but I forced myself to stay grounded and nodded.
Then—Nagi stared straight at me.
"Um... there's something I’d like to talk about."
"What is it?"
She had a somewhat embarrassed expression, not quite awkward, but shy.
"...I might be a bit improper."
Her words caught me completely off guard, and I widened my eyes in surprise.
"Where is this coming from? You don’t have to worry about what happened just now."
"No, it’s not that... um..."
Nagi’s face turned red, and she covered her soft, pink lips with her hands.
"I... I might really love... kissing. I think I might be obsessed with it."
Nagi shyly averted her eyes as she spoke.
"When I kiss Souta-kun, my head goes all fuzzy, and my heart gets all warm. The feeling of happiness... and love fills me up. So, um..."
Nagi looked at me with her moist eyes.
"...Can we... kiss again?"
My self-control was crumbling, piece by piece. But when I saw the faint shadow still lingering in her eyes, I couldn’t bring myself to refuse.
"Of course."
Somehow, as I forced the words out, the shadow in her eyes disappeared, and her gaze took on a seductive shine.
"Excuse me."
Her soft, warm lips touched mine. Our breaths stopped.
Perhaps because it wasn’t as sudden this time, the sensation was more vivid, and I could feel it more clearly.
It was as sweet as melted sugar, and it melted my mind. My body alternated between stiffness and relaxation, unable to settle.
A few seconds later, our lips parted. After catching our breath—
"Just once more."
She pressed her lips to mine again. Her eyes were slightly open, and she reached around to wrap her arms around my back as if to cling to me.
Like before, the kiss lasted only a few seconds—
"No, this... I don’t want to stop anymore..."
Trying to suppress those feelings, Nagi hugged me tightly. The strength of her embrace left us both gasping for breath.
I hugged her back just as strongly, and naturally, a smile spread across my face.
"You don’t have to force yourself to hold back. You told me that yourself."
At those words, Nagi loosened her grip—then, it returned just as strongly.
"No, it’s not good! A-Another time, and it'll be morning..."
"...But wouldn’t it be better for both of us mentally if we didn’t hold back?"
"Ah... well, just one more time... No, I can’t! S-Souta-kun, you’ve already spoiled me so much! Please don’t indulge me any more!"
It was a slightly unreasonable way to be scolded. But even though she was angry, I couldn’t help but find it strangely cute.
"I think it’s just right to spoil you a little. It’s okay to be a bit selfish."
"Even so... it really will be morning. No, I can’t."
Nagi let go of the hands she had been holding me with and gently placed one on her chest.
"When I kiss Souta-kun... I feel so happy and full of joy... my heart races. But because you’re by my side, I feel secure. I just want to keep kissing like that forever. But that’s why I can’t. If I keep going like this, I might start wanting to kiss you in public."
I could understand that... It would be bad if we didn’t keep track of time and place. It could be a problem for the people around us, and some might find it uncomfortable.
"So, um... just once a day... or... maybe up to twice. Please."
Just like when she’d hastily corrected herself about how many times I should pat her head, Nagi quickly amended her statement. I couldn’t help but smile.
"Okay, I understand. And if you ever want to increase it, just tell me anytime."
"Yes!"
Nagi responded cheerfully, and we both lay back down.
We lay on our backs together... and when I turned to face Nagi, our gazes met, and I looked into her blue eyes.
"Souta-kun."
"What is it?"
"I love you."
With that, her hand gently clasped mine—not just placing it on top but intertwining our fingers, the way lovers do.
"I love you too, Nagi."
When I responded, Nagi smiled and nodded, her joy so overwhelming it seemed like it would burst.
"We'll see each other again tomorrow, right?"
"Yeah, tomorrow."
"Yes! ...But, maybe I won’t be able to sleep because I’ll be too excited."
At Nagi's words, I laughed.
"I'm feeling the same way. ...Well, how about we talk about something until we get sleepy?"
"Yes! Please!"
Nagi nodded eagerly, and I began to tell her about the places I wanted to go with her and the things I wanted to do. We talked, over and over, until we both grew sleepy.
★★★