The Border Fortress 10

Liliana's purpose in teleporting from the border fortress to the Kennys Border Margravate's mansion was to check on Marianne. Marianne, who had returned to her family home with Gild, was officially on leave for this period. Normally, there would be no need to check on her, but her father, Margrave Kennys, was currently stationed at the border.

The margrave, who had been targeted by assassins three years ago, had survived but was left with the aftereffect of his left side being paralyzed. Though doctors and mages had said that improvement was not to be expected, he had recovered to the point where he could move with a cane, thanks to his astonishing physical and mental strength. Still, he had not recovered enough to go to the battlefield. Therefore, Marianne must have been heartbroken for her father.

(A sentiment I do not possess.)

Muttering this to herself, Liliana used a search spell to locate Marianne.

If she couldn’t sleep, she could calm her nerves with a “charm,” though it was a step away from forbidden magic. The spell Liliana used acted directly on the nerves, and according to current magic books, it was classified as a type of mental interference spell. Since mental interference was designated as a forbidden art, she couldn’t use it openly.

(There she is.)

Marianne was in a room in the wing where the margrave’s family lived. It seemed there was someone else in the room with her. Liliana thought for a moment. If she became invisible, Marianne probably wouldn’t notice, but she didn’t know if the person with her would. She hesitated, but then reconsidered; all the skilled mages should be at the border fortress. In that case, there shouldn’t be anyone who could see through her spell.

Liliana walked down the corridor of the margrave’s mansion, observing her surroundings as she headed to her destination.

The place she was in now was the main building of the margrave’s mansion. Rooms for entertaining guests or for family gatherings, such as reception rooms and game rooms, were lined up. In mansions that couldn't afford to hire mages, there were facilities to heat the rooms by building a fire in the dedicated passage for servants on the other side of each room, but in the margrave’s mansion, the room temperature was controlled by magic. That alone was enough to infer how much wealthier the margravate was compared to other domains.

After walking down a long corridor, Liliana finally reached the wing where the margrave’s family’s private rooms were lined up. Of course, in addition to each person’s private room, there were also rooms such as private game rooms and parlors. The difference from the main building was that each room was slightly smaller and was unified in a calming color scheme.

Marianne’s room seemed to be at the far end of the wing where Liliana was now. Liliana headed for that room without hesitation. She didn’t pass anyone on the way. There was a sense of human presence, but the servants used the servants’ passages, and the remaining members of the Kennys family seemed to have all retired to their own rooms.

(If I recall, the only one in the margrave’s family who belongs to the knightly order is Billy Kennys—Marianne’s younger brother.)

Her other brothers had not joined the Kennys Knights. It seemed that only Billy had been recognized for his talent as a knight. Indeed—Liliana pictured her eldest brother, Lucian, whose face and personality she was the only one she knew.

Lucian seemed to be more of a type who excelled at political negotiations rather than a knight. She had the impression that he was eloquent, good at information warfare, and a shrewd person. It was proof that Margrave Kennys was a thorough meritocrat, a rarity in noble society, Liliana smiled faintly.

(Is this the room?)

After walking for a while, Liliana stopped in front of a room. It was a small parlor adjacent to Marianne’s private room, a room for entertaining family and close friends when they visited her.

(<Search>)

Liliana decided to check for magical detection first. There was no reaction when she used the Search spell. Deciding that her presence would likely not be noticed if she was invisible, Liliana snuck into the room with a teleportation spell. There, she saw Marianne with her eyes swollen from crying, and a woman consoling her.

“—But, Mother.”

It seemed the person in the room was Marianne’s mother. Considering that her eldest brother, Lucian, was over thirty, she must be of a certain age, but she was a very young and beautiful woman.

“There is nothing to worry about, Marianne. Your father is a strong man, and Billy has become a fine knight. And the other knights will all return safely. That is why your colleague, Gild, and from the Ministry of Magic, Ben Draco-sama and Muirulainen-sama, have come, is it not?”

“Yes, I know. I know, but I’m so anxious I can’t sleep.”

Marianne nodded, but her worries did not seem to be dispelled. Her pale face was tense. Upon closer inspection, there were teacups in front of them. It seemed they were drinking herbal tea, probably to calm their agitated nerves.

“I’m fine during the day, but before I go to sleep, my nerves get so agitated—I can’t. I know I can’t hold my head high as my father’s daughter like this, but I just can’t help it—the image of my father, unconscious, keeps flashing in my head.”

The mother hugged her dejected, drooping daughter. She smiled gently and repeated words to reassure her. It seemed she would be fine without her worrying, so Liliana thought of returning to her own mansion with a teleportation spell. Just as she was about to activate the spell, she heard the margravine’s words and stopped just before activating it.

“You have always been a kind child. You notice so many things—and you love nothing more than to make people happy. That is why your father allowed you to become a handmaiden, saying that you should do what you love.”

Liliana did not know Marianne as a child. Liliana was younger, and in the first place, their lives would never have crossed if Marianne had not knocked on the door of the Duke Clark’s house to become a handmaiden. That was why she was drawn to the margravine’s words.

I never thought she would win a spot as a handmaiden in the Duke Clark’s house, though, the margravine laughed mischievously, and Marianne smiled shyly.

“But Mother, my lady was such a lovely person. Her ladyship and his lordship did not seem to be very interested in my lady—it is true that my lady rarely smiled, but as I took care of her, I could tell that she was slowly opening up to me.”

Marianne spoke of “my lady,” Liliana, with affection.

People often said that her smile was always the same, like a doll’s, but there were slight differences in that smile.

That she always maintained her attitude as a noble and fulfilled her duties with dignity, but in reality, she had clear likes and dislikes and paid no attention to things that did not interest her.

“My lady is truly a clumsy person—it is hard to see, but she is a very kind-hearted person.”

—A series of words filled with love, as if a life-sized, flesh-and-blood “my lady” were living there.

Unconsciously, Liliana had taken a step back.

It was true that Marianne had praised Liliana many times before. But for Liliana, those words had never meant much. She would smile as usual, say her thanks, and then forget what had been said. They were no different from a mere greeting, but what Marianne had just said was completely different. It was one thing to say it in front of Liliana herself, but praise in front of a third party was nothing but her true feelings.

(Who on earth are you talking about, Marianne?)

Liliana’s cheeks twitched slightly. She unconsciously clutched her chest, which had begun to ache. Her mouth began to feel dry. It was a rare expression for her, but since she was invisible, no one noticed.

She knew she was talking about herself, but she didn’t want to admit it—or rather, it felt too strange. It was said that self-perception and others’ perceptions were different, but wasn’t the difference too great? Liliana broke out in a cold sweat.

One possibility was that the impression Marianne had of Liliana was completely different from others, but unfortunately, there was no way to confirm it.

“She has been like that since she was little. When she heard that Mikal the stable hand had a daughter, she said she would give her a kuksa—she had been a little selfish before, but that was just her being her age and it was cute. She must have been lonely.”

Marianne, unaware that the invisible Liliana was there, was telling her mother what a wonderful young lady she was, without noticing her little master’s discomfort. As she did so, Marianne’s complexion improved, but Liliana couldn’t take it anymore.

She knew she was not the kind of person Marianne was praising. Her kindness and compassion were all just means born from the primitive desire for survival, and while she had curiosity and interest, the emotions that formed the basis for judging good and evil were extremely weak. She had no human depth. She, of all people, knew that.

(—I should leave Marianne to the margravine. I will go home.)

I can’t stay here any longer, Liliana thought, and readily returned to her own mansion with a teleportation spell. She let out a deep sigh of relief at the familiar space and the situation of being all alone. Then, a wave of exhaustion washed over her body. She changed into her nightclothes using magic and slipped into bed, closing her eyes. With her body chilled by the night wind, sleep was slow to come.

Tossing and turning, Liliana closed her eyes and let her thoughts wander.

(“An adorable young lady,” where do you even have to look to see that? Or is it just that my mimicry is good?)

She tilted her head inwardly, unable to understand.

Last year, after killing her father, Duke Clark, Liliana had shut herself in her room alone. She had put up the highest level of defensive barrier she could, because she didn't want the assassin Obsidian or the black lion Ajulite to come in.

She hadn’t been fazed at all by killing her father; in fact, her mind had been cold at that moment and afterwards. Surely—no, I am definitely strange. She felt as if the unease she had vaguely felt about herself had been thrust before her eyes. She was sure she wouldn’t have noticed that unease if it weren't for the memories of her past life. Because, for her, the fact that her emotions barely moved—that was normal.

She had acted solely with the desire to avoid the same ruin as the game’s Liliana. Being removed from the list of candidates for the crown prince’s fiancée had been a part of that. But in the end, reality was beginning to move according to the game. Perhaps simply escaping the position of the crown prince’s fiancée wouldn't solve the problem—wasn’t the fundamental problem not something external like the title of fiancée, but something more essential?

To clarify the suspicion that had sprouted in her heart, Liliana had used the forbidden art of mental interference on herself.

—The result was half a success, half a failure.

Liliana had used mental interference on herself and had shown herself various scenes. It was a spell described in an old magic book, now designated as a forbidden book, and was once used to torture criminals. The spell, which showed a lifetime’s worth of events in a short period of time—and only events that would stir the emotions of joy, anger, sorrow, and pleasure—would drive the target to madness. Of course, it was not impossible to recover from that state. But if Liliana herself went mad, recovery might be difficult. Therefore, just in case, Liliana had set up a magic circle throughout the room and created a system so that a recovery spell would be activated at the end of the spell. And she had set up magic stones throughout the room to record herself during the spell.

(When I saw the recording, I couldn’t help but laugh.)

Letting out a small sigh, Liliana gave a wry smile. She pulled the pillow she was holding in her arms closer, hugged it, and buried her face in it.

The her in the recording had not been fazed at all. Happy moments, moments of joy, moments of anger, moments of sadness—Liliana’s expression had always been the same, a constant smile. Only for a moment—the moment she was shown the death of Duke Ealdred—her face had stiffened slightly, but that was all.

And next, Liliana had tried to ascertain whether her lack of emotion was innate or artificial. If her emotions were being suppressed by magic or a curse, she should have been able to find out by analyzing it.

But that had failed. No—it probably wasn’t a failure. She couldn’t analyze it, which meant that no magic or curse had been used. She had heard that it was very difficult to analyze a spell cast on oneself, and even more so if it was deeply rooted in the person’s soul, so Liliana couldn't completely discard the slight possibility that remained.

—That was all.

(I have no emotions, Marianne.)

That was why the game’s Liliana had fallen into darkness. A doll without emotions had been instilled with anger and hatred for some reason. And in the end, she had met her ruin.

The desire not to die was a primitive biological one, so it probably remained in Liliana. However, it was unclear whether that desire not to die was something she wished for from the bottom of her heart. At times, she even felt as if a dry wind were blowing through the void in her chest.

She even thought it was more human to be like her father, who was obsessed with something and acted selfishly.

A person without emotions was empty. A personality was not formed by knowledge and experience alone. It was formed by the combination of emotions such as like and dislike, joy, anger, sorrow, and pleasure. The judgment of good and evil could not be determined by knowledge and experience alone. It was because it was connected to emotions such as not wanting to make others sad or wanting to make them happy that one could judge good and evil. Liliana, who could not do that, had no choice but to rely on social norms and rules as knowledge. If she were to stop even trying to do that, she could be as cruel and heartless as she wanted. Since she had no emotions that governed compassion for others, it was a matter of course.

And the game’s Liliana had no one she wanted to cherish. The current Liliana had someone she felt she had to protect, however tenuously. That was why she was somehow able to maintain her human form.

(That is why the me in the game went down the wrong path. In this world, the concept of a noble’s duty is not yet common.)

It was only a hypothesis, but if the concept of a noble’s duty had been common, and if the game’s Liliana had been familiar with that idea, she would never have thought of harming the heroine. It was possible that someone had instigated her, but the reason she couldn’t resist that temptation was probably because she had no clear standard of good and evil within her.

—Liliana, who had some likes and dislikes but no emotions, was an incomplete human.

That was why the Liliana who was here now had to use all the knowledge of her past life to avoid going down the wrong path. By nature, she was just a living puppet. To avoid the same ruin as the game’s Liliana, she had no choice but to strictly discipline herself.

And that, once she had come to terms with it, was not such a difficult thing to do.

—-

ToC

Chapter 175